Please stop saying “Boys will be boys”. I don’t usually get fired up about many things, then again my hubby may feel different, but this –this is definitely something that gets to me.
Boys will be boys.
First of all, I want to know what this actually means. Are you trying to tell me that little boys are jerks by nature? Or are you telling me that they’re wild uncontrollable little monsters? Or are you just trying to give your child an excuse on his lack of manners? Or maybe you’re trying to give someone an ounce of sympathy? Really. I’d like to know.
Because, I beg to differ on ALL of thee above. Being a #boymom I’ve been around the block enough to hear this a time or two. And every.single.time I die a little inside. Seriously. It’s killing me. Not for my lack of parenting or my husbands, I’m thrilled to report no one has ever said this to me in pity or shame. But for YOU. The parents out there with little girls.
Every time those words are uttered, we’re giving an excuse to our sons to be less than respectable gentlemen. We’re teaching them that it’s acceptable to be disrespectful and do as they please. We’re teaching them that by being a male, and male alone, it’s OK to do what they want.
Correct me if I’m wrong, but you don’t want that for your daughter. See. I’m raising my boys to be future boyfriends, husbands, and fathers. More specifically, YOUR daughters future boyfriends, husbands, and children’s father and I’m pretty sure you are expecting them to be gentlemen.
And honestly, I don’t want that for my boys. I love when we hear how nice my boys are and how they’re gentleman. It makes me proud. I know I’m doing something right for them and for YOU.
So, stop giving them an excuse.
STOP saying boys will be boys.
Because they won’t always be a “boy”. They will become men and I expect them to be respectful gentlemen.
If you really insist on helping me raise my sons, fine so be it, then remind them to close their mouths when they chew, to say excuse me, and tell them thank you when they hold the door for you. Because they will.
But for the life of me, don’t tell me boys will be boys when they make a mistake.
I fully know they will make a mistake. I live with them. They don’t need your permission or mine to make a mistake, they know it’s ok. They know it’s ok because my husband and I taught them it’s ok to learn from their mistakes. But we have never taught them they are excused from being decent human beings because they have .. well because they’re men.
I’m not saying that boys aren’t different than girls and that they don’t have more energy. Again, I live with them. They are completely different in lots of different ways. I love and honor those things. I’m telling you to stop freeing them from accountability, because they are boys. That is not acceptable no matter how old or what gender they may be.
Next time you hear someone say “well boys will be boys” I hope it fires you up just a little too. Our culture needs a change. Boys will grow up to be men. And with everything I am, I promise you mine will be gentlemen.
And if I don’t keep them in line, then their sister sure will.
So join me and put an end to “boys will be boys”.